Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Explaining diet connection 2 family??

How do those of you that do low or no starch diets explain the diet to your friends and family! My hubby understands cause he sees the difference but my inlaws don't, the do accept me eating different foods now but still offer starchy processed foods everytime i see them! Its been like 2 years iv been off process foods and they havnt clicked.

My life in a nut shell! I have been a vegan for a little over a year now (for both ethical and medical reasons) and my boyfriends family and the majority of my family continue to offer me cheese dips, casserols, ect. Drives me nuts. Just hang in there and keep reminding them. Hopefully, it will click eventually. My boyfriends mom always calls before our weekly Monday night dinner to make sure I can eat what she is making. It's effort lol. Good luck.
- Angie

It is necessary to let pass the time.
The diet without starch is difficult to understand and the near people think that it is his obligation to make change us of idea.
I simply like the salads, fruits droughts and some food but without starch and treatment of not complicating the menu to them.
In the future they themselves they will be doing what it comes to me better, when they see my improvement.
If they do not do it, perhaps they are not as friendly as it thought.
Greetings.

Hi, ReBA:

Sometimes, even the people who are closest to you, will never get it--no matter what you try and explain. Few people really know which foods contain starches and what additives are bad, even if they try to figure it out logically (ie "have some corn" versus universally available corn starch).

I made the terrible health mistake of becoming a vegetarian, and they never understood that, either, but only made things worse by trying to accommodate--constantly calling me up before a gathering and then getting it wrong. I learned to bring my own or go without from that experience.

There is no doubt that food is often a social and cultural bonding experience, but even if it were religious (a starchy unleavened bread, for example), there can be easy alternatives we can prepare ourselves for in advance.

Not enough interest in diet, even amongst those of us who actually have AS, for people to take the time and learn about the NSD, so "civilians" have almost no capacity for this exercise.

Even saying things like "starch to me is like sugar to a diabetic" only makes things worse ("so...do you pass out?"), so I just tell people that I have a severe reaction to starches and I'm never surprised anymore that sometimes even the otherwise smartest of them hasn't a clue. It's nothing personal...

Regards,
John

I think in my family it is an older generation thing. My mom and dad think I am trying to starve my son and torchure him by keeping him just low starch. They also say to me over and over again "You are not a doctor. Why don't you listen to the doctors. They don't tell you to have him eat like that"!
I just tell them all to just mind their own business and worry about themselves.
I think Atkins diet is very accepted if your trying to lose weight, why is that?

When I was on the NSD I just told people I might be allergic to certain foods like a celiac is to gluten. They would say ohhh so you are gluten free and I would say yes very much like that. Seemed to really help and they didn't ask about it much more other than to say how awful that must be as they ate a doughnut.

Reba
I have not tried the NSD but if I did I would just tell them that starche might be a link to why I am in so much pain so I am going to give it a try. I read stories on here all of the time about family members and friends not understanding. I cannot imagine that. That must be horrible. I think if I told my family that I was doing something as easy as changing the way that I eat they would say "go for it.... give it a try...what would it hurt?"

NJLaurie: I cant imagine having your son eat healthier is starving him. I am sure you partents only mean well. But I can imagine as a mother trying to do what is best for your child and someone telling you it is crazy must be very hard. I am not a mother but if I was I would do whatever I had to to help my child. My hat goes off to you. It sounds like you are a terrific mother and only trying to do what is best for your child. I have read stories about how the NSD diet has helped many people and I have read how it did not. We are all different.. but it does not hurt to give it a try. by the way where in NJ do you live? One of my dearest friends lives in randolph NJ. Is that close to you?

I hope you all have a blessed day
HUS
Raquel

I've told people that I have a sensitivity to wheat and glutens. That seems to be effective. As well as being true!

You might offer to bring dishes with you to some family dinners.

It can be so difficult getting family and friends to take things like this seriously. I think it's because they simply haven't a clue what we deal with. It's inconceivable to them to go without starch. Probably, they think it's some kind of fad diet that you can cheat on periodically. What they need is to walk a mile in our shoes. Since that's unlikely to happen, we do need to be patient with them ... even if we have to grit our teeth to do it. They simply do not get it.

I've been very lucky in that regard. The people in my life try very hard to make sure that I won't be fed anything that will set off my AS. Right down to phoning before I visit to let me know there will be hors d'ouevres that I can eat. It did take a while, however, and perseverance.

Good luck.

Hugs,

first i tell people the foods bother my health, and if they don't understand that, i tell them i am allergic, that everyone seems to understand.

and i always have my own food with me, so if i need to eat, i can. i know that doesn't really work if you've been invited to dinner.....then i just eat the things i can and leave the things i can't. or if its family, i ask for an alternative; never shy about "offending" family, they're family.

trying to change people.....harder than herding cats

sue

What do you mean 'harder than herding cats'? Herding cats is dead easy, it really ... ACK!! There goes another one!!

Warm hugs,