Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Good bye

After reading the "Blasted"post, I have come to the realisation that I do not belong here. What I thought was a family has turned out to be just that!! People bickering and being childish....maybe you people should take your heads out of your self-centred pain and show some respect and tolerance of other's opinions and keep your own negative thoughts to yourselves. Everyone is entitled to their opinions without further comments from others....who's right and who's wrong is irrelevant. This site should be a place where we all can share and be honest about our opinions, without being "scolded" for being free thinkers. It is also disrespectful to Johnny, to turn his thread into a circus of pathetic ping-pong.

After the exit of Patty for posting a "misinterpreted" opinion and myself for sharing a written work and being "scolded" for it..I too have decided to exit. I have not needed to come to this site lately as I find the positive , accepting vibe is gone. I'm sure that my contributions will not be missed, as there was never any great response to my posts, but I felt that I needed to say good-bye to the few...very few...kind and considerate people here.

It's sad to think that even on the internet there are bullies.


Irene

What lies behind us and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us

Irene, I am sorry to hear that. You did hit the nail right on the head. KA is like a family and families, unfortunately, see alot worse bickering than has been happening here. It is your choice whether to stay or go, and I respect that choice.

However, I ask you to consider whether or not your expectations of KA were, perhaps, unrealistic. You seem to have expected that everyone would be walking around exuding rainbows and love and light and joy 24/7, with no personality conflicts. It ain't gonna happen. As with any large group of people, we are always going to have head butting seassions. It's reality. It's unavoidable when dealing with human beings. And that's what we are here first and foremost. Human beings. Having AS doesn't make us special or better or less combative than anyone else. Being part of a support group does not make us special or better or less combative than anyone else. It only means that we are human beings, with a degenerative disease, who are part of a support group. That's it.

I understand how hard it is to watch something that you had seen as a safe haven crumble because of infighting. Been there done that. It comes to a point when you have to take a good look at it and decide whether it's worth fighting for. You've obviously decided it isn't. And that is your choice. However, wounded egos aside, there is absolutely nothing horrible going on here. It is normal to have disagreement. It is normal to see people who've converted to new way (born again so to speak) try to foist that way on others. Of course it is. They've found something that has completely changed their lives and they want to share that with others. I understand that. I don't like it. I find it disruptive to other discussions, but I do understand the need. It is normal to see people lashing out at those who care for them because of something unrelated that's going on in their lives. It's part of the human condition.

However, underneath all of that is the caring that we give to one another. No matter how ticked off we become with each other, if anything were to happen to one of the people creating problems right now, I'd bet that the majority of KAers would be right there supporting them. The true strength of a support group is not measured by how much love and light and all things joyful it is to every single person involved, but by how much compassion and understanding we all have for one another when it comes down to brass tacks/crises in life. Of that, there is an abundance here at KA.

I'm sorry you've made the decision you have. Obviously things haven't worked out to your expectations here. And they are your expectations based on what you think you need right now. I don't agree with you, but I respect your decision - even if I do hope you'll change your mind.

Hugs,

Kat

I am justly admonished Kat. After my own last silly contribution to that thread I promise not to even look at it; well I'll try.

sublata causa tollitur effectus as we say

Kat,

Thank you for speaking so eloquently. There have been many disagreements in the past, but it's just a case of 'get over it'. We can't possibly all agree all of the time.

I'm sorry Irene that you feel that your only recourse is to leave the site. Spats happen, and then we all just move on. I would urge you to reconsider. This too, will pass.

Maxine

May the roof above us never fall in, and the many friends gathered below it never fall out.

Irene
It would be so nice if you would change your mind and please stay with us.
Kat writes the way it is.Life is just that way.As far as "there has not been any great response to your posts",some of us ,like me, do not respond but I do read your posts and still am a part of the family and believe it or not ,I do feel a closeness to you and many others although you may not know it.
I would miss you as I do miss the others that have not been to KA for some time.
Ray

Very well said, I can't add much to this except that I'm hopeful that Irene will reconsider her decision to leave KA. I've been here now for 2 1/2 years and have seen spats like these come and go, I've been offended by some of the stuff that goes on and had difficulty communicating with some of the members here, but all in all, weighing the good and the bad, it's still the best support site for AS on the Web.

Cheryl

Dogs don't care if you make more money than they do

I have been here a while as well and I even was in one of the spats because I thought that some had done some one really wrong so I spoke up. You have to understand that I don't do that often. But after I did it and I wish I would have handled it diffrent but like Kat said we are human. I almost left then but I talk it out and I knew that I really need this place.

I just think if some one dose not like a post that some one makes why put a post about why not just PM that person and those two can talk it out. People get mad and fight and even in the best familys it happens.


I hope no one leaves over what ever it was that this one is about. I have not been feeling to good so I have not been here to much lately and with school on top of that.

You can always do what I did for a while after the spat I got in to was just talk to the very close people that I have here and work thur my anger. I hope you do that as well. And if any one wants to PM me when they are mad at someone I am a very good listener I have learned that from people here and what ever you say would not go any futher. Just idea that just pop in my head.


Why don't we have a AS buddy and that way when we get up set we can write and vent to our buddy and then maybe peoples feeling will not get hurt and people will stay here and get the support that we all need. Living with AS is hard so let see if we can find a way to make it easier on every body.


I love you all, this place saved my life and when I said that I mean it just the way it sounds. I want to give back to this place because it as giving me so much.


Love and hugs to every one,
Donna

Donna, very well said.

Warm hugs,

Kat