Hi Heather....
Believe it or not..just this morning I wondered why you have not been around...
.....
Now about your post....this is the second time I have heard you talk about doing something to yourself.....you need to toss that thinking out the window....
I know that fear can be debilitating....I was once full of that same fear....but whether it is FM or AS...you are in for a life of pain....but look around this website...look at the people here who deal with the same thing everyday...they still have wives, husbands, children and grandchildren...there is so much of life to live still.
I thought seriously about getting in professional counseling before I found this website...I spend so much time here...and you know what...I don't feel I need the counseling anymore....with people like Cheryl, Sue, SteveC, DameCheryl, Littlesis, Mark(jumpnj)....the list goes on and on......look at what these people have gone through and yet they come here and make all of us laugh and give us hope....
you are doing the right thing by reaching out here and sharing your fear....because we can all remind you that you will get through this...just like everyone here is doing....
Even with the AS dx....what can doc's do for me?...nothing...it's up to me...do I want to use antianflammatories, or the MTX the Sue and Cheryl are on...do I want to try and keep moving with exercise?....it's all up to me really what I want....with FM...it's the same thing...there is really nothing the docs can do...it's basically a guessing game with which medications are going to work for you....
I am HLA-b27 positive and have tons of inflammation...so I don't need a doctor to confirm what I already know...I think that you know better than they do....just take a deep breath....check out the websites on both FM and AS....find out for yourself which symptoms are the dominant ones.....I don't remember if you are HLA-B27 positive or not?.....either way...Fm, AS, Chrones..Lupus...the bottom line is they are all sisters to each other...if your doctor still cannot break down what is happening to you...it's time for a new doc...
and the biggest thing you can do...is stop crying all alone and keep your fingers on you're keyboard at home....keep talking here....don't sit and worry...I have noticed you haven't been around...you must stay involved so you do not get so desperate...
and I don't know about you're spiritual life....but what works for me..is turning off all noise...and playing quite music and having a talk with God....it never fails...when I take the time to do that...my peace comes back....I am not afraid to admit that I cannot do this on my own...I need to know that God will see me through and I need everyone here to support me during this journey...
I have been exactly where you are at....and I hate to see you there...keep talking to us...o.k.
Sending "Lovie Dovies" you're way!
....Debbie
[maroon][big][big]hugs....Debbie....[/big][/big]
